Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
