They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
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