She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
