also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
