I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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