I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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