We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
