yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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