You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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