Do you still have your period?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
