I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
