so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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