Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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