Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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