Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
