Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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