the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
