I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
