sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
