How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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