Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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