careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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