You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
your room smells of hookers.
And success
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
