That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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