I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
this will be a night to untag.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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