4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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