someone get that fucking seahorse.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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