I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
