Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
