I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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