you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
