I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
