Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
