Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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