I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize