Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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