I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
