I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
