I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Randomize
