dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
