we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My first STD was from a foam party
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
