I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
