definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I love you. Go after that dick
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
