Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
