I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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