my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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