no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
