Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Damn victory sex feels great
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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