Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
