Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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