Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
