I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
