I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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