there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
