R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
