I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
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