1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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